In the context of a male narcissist-sociopath who becomes a breeder, the word “father” is a mere term that we all us to refer to a man, who sometimes, but not always, biologically reproduced us. But in the higher-consciousness of our true spiritual potential – in this case, the male potential – this ‘father’ is not always a positive head-of-household, or protector, or a teacher who bestows strength of character and lessons of wisdom onto the younger generation.
Question: What role does the Narcissist Father play in the household?
Answer: He is a mere breeder referred to as “father.”
Question: Why does the narcissist or sociopath become a breeder?
Let’s face it, he’s always been selfish, self-serving, egotistical, addicted to sex, attention, and stimulation, and he’s always lacked focus, concentration, and perseverance to any higher good and morals. One would think that all these traits would prevent him from breeding any offspring that he would have to be responsible for – even in the smallest capacity.
Answer: It is exactly for these reasons – that seems counter-intuitive to any person with any amount of common sense – that he does propagate. According to Google, propagate means to “spread and promote widely.” Essentially, the narcissist-sociopath is ‘spreading himself widely.’ He is duplicating himself because he believes himself worthy of duplication. He is biologically driven to conquer a woman, entrap her by injecting her with his sperm, and staking his claim on the ‘battlefield of primitive man;’ domination and dominion.
He’s all caveman – a reptilian brain stem, biological ‘thing’ (as we all are to a certain degree) – who’s operating from the primitive (and unthinking) urge to: spread my seed … my temporary lust is driving me to make her pregnant – so cool; and by making her pregnant I’m sexy, fertile, young, and manly – not to mention – she’ll be all mine and we’ll be forever happy and perfect with adoring, cooing, and gurgling babies who will worship me forever. I’m creating my own clan.
Narcissist: STOP your delusional thinking right now! Sure we all have biological urges but you must realize that you’re not using your more evolved brain here: Mental over Emotional. Do you have any idea of the real, and hard, and sacrificing work and dedication that is required to raise children who aren’t greedy, selfish, emotional and sexual predators – who have healthy personalities – and actually contribute to the world – instead of sucking the life out of it and everyone in it?!
Our society easily allows for babies to be born from a delusional lust-moment and for men to NOT support or protect the mother and child. He can easily move on down the road when things get tough – meaning the glamour of his fantasy, fun-life of having continual lust-filled, sex-moments with his woman, dissipates as real family responsibility sets in – that is, being a real man and father and not a caveman with a conquering penis. And the ‘next woman down the road’ readily welcomes him into her cave! Another whole lustful, conquering and conquest cycle begins.
And this next woman down the road likely has her own children from a different conquering penis. You see, the narcissist-sociopath finds it more alluring to conquer and take care of another man’s child than his own! He’s not only taking over another man’s cave, but it’s way more important for him to impress strangers than to do what is expected of him in his primary family who will not necessarily applaud him on. Plus, there’s not the same ties of true responsibility and fortitude with another man’s child; there’s not the same emotional intensity involved with raising another man’s child. The narcissist doesn’t think much past “winning one over” on the real father (duping).
In the end it doesn’t matter: first family, or forth family. The narcissist-sociopath doesn’t have a moral sense of commitment, endurance, focus, or fortitude to maintain anything, anything at all, let alone a family-unit. He doesn’t even have a sense of responsibility to provide any level of protection and commitment to – well – to just about anyone or anything. He’ll throw anyone, including his family, ‘under the bus,’ to get to his next source of ‘love’, attention, and validation. And he’s certainly not going to instill higher wisdom-virtues upon his herd for the simple reason that he’s a blank slate, a void, who only mirrors and manipulates people to get what he wants.
The narcissist is just a breeder who seeks the glory and attention of the Honeymoon Period Impregnation; the euphoria connected to his sperm inside the womb of someone he is temporarily fantasy-idealizing as his Madonna; a woman he believes will forever comfort, complete, and satiate his sick ego. His lust-delusion may last for the first several months to few years – where new baby is still cute, and adores him, and he’s still getting attention and admiration from his acquaintances and his flying monkeys (even though most of it is canned and extended because of societal pressure) for being a father. But with everything in the narcissist’s life: he grows bored – especially when the glamour fades and real life and the reality of being a responsible and focused family man sets in.
In the end, the narcissist treats all his children, from whatever family, as pawns to offer him comfort. He ties his children to his emotional umbilical cord. He turns his children into the following roles (all these have what’s referred to as the “golden child” aspect and all these overlap):
One: His play object – to entertain him and to ease his constant sense of boredom.
Two: His girlfriend and boyfriend:
Love bombs them: Does not have boundaries with them.
Enables them: Taking care of them when they’re way beyond their adult-time and helping them not take responsibility for their bad life-choices.
Sexualizes them: Appearing to have a sexual relationship with them; behaving in an almost incestual manner, e.g., taking selfies with them; appearing on and off camera where father and daughter are scantily clad (the dirty old man image); says inappropriate things about their body-parts to not only them, but to others.
Three: His confidant and pseudo-therapist – to get emotional support when he ruined yet another relationship (even with the child’s own mother), job/career, or gets into legal or financial problems.
Four: His best friend – to admire him and comfort his ego; to do teenage type of activities with; and to even help him look for women. His children, particular the daughters, will help him with his online dating-profile and even set him up with women she knows.
Five: His flying monkey – to help him fight his battles. He plays the innocent victim and pits his children against their own mother, and others.
Six: His mirror – to receive unconditional love, obedience, worship, and admiration without earning it.
However, as soon as this child develops a sense of self, individuality, and identity (around puberty), the narcissist discards this child for another admiring and co-dependent child, or the father will jump into another fast moving sexual relationship to comfort his ego. This same discarded child will likely return to the control of the narcissist father because his/her self-confidence is shattered and to receive the narcissist father’s validation (trauma bonding). And just like us, the child is addicted to the father’s love bombing.
To summarize: When the narcissist gets a woman pregnant, it’s merely another layer of his fantasy, idealization honeymoon period, delusion. He’s pedestalling his new family-to-be and the mother, Pure Madonna, Only Unto Him, that he has captured, without thinking about the responsibility, commitment, endurance, hardship, and the not-so glamorous side of raising a child (screaming; demands; diaper and toilet stuff; financial sacrifice, obligation, and hardship; restrictions on his freedom, womanizing, and sexual prowess), and dedication involved in maintaining a solid and stable family unit.
Since he doesn’t truly love anyone but himself, he becomes Fun Dad without boundaries and limits. He strives to be the most loved. He’s reckless, irresponsible, and even slightly perverted with his children to seek his own sense of comfort and to satiate his own disturbed ego. His children are pawns to satiate his ego.
Lynna, Author of the book, “My Sociopath”
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Image: Caveman Dragging Cavewoman, by SailorButterfly, Drawception