Do Sociopaths Know That They’re Sociopaths?

Basically, we are left traumatized because we come to the realization that we were nothing but a disposable, interchangeable, replaceable object to the narcissist. A total annihilation of our being just so the narcissist could get sex, care taking, and attention .

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I would venture to say that in past-times, “No,” but in current-times, “Yes.”  Why two answers? Because of the advent of social media, and the prevalence of open discussions from both victims of sociopaths, and self-proclaimed sociopaths, this wave of awareness is no-doubt hitting and then swallowing up the everyday and oblivious disordered individual himself.

How can the relationship-jumper, the sex addict, the liar, manipulator, seducer, and cheater not be hit by our onslaught of writings, postings, and our depressed and anguished screams and protests? These lowly-evolved and chaotic souls crawl around social-media searching for attention and stimulation – maybe even more so than we all do; we – the slightly less chaotic souls – who are in search for answers to why that individual caused so much chaos and destruction in our mind and soul.

I remember a much older female friend telling me years ago that I was dating a narcissist. I didn’t think and connect beyond: Narcissist, yeah sure, he certainly is fixated on his appearance. Now, not only me, but you as well, know this word to mean a person that exploits us for our good and caring nature, and who will likely not only leave us traumatized with a feeling of being taken advantage of, but with a sense of betrayal regarding our innocent idea of love.

Basically, we are left traumatized because we come to the realization that we were nothing but a disposable, interchangeable, replaceable object to the narcissist. A total annihilation of our being just so the narcissist could get sex, care taking, and attention. 

Flash-forward, past this narcissist boyfriend who I was warned about: I was later struck by a sociopath that used and abused me emotionally, mentally, and financially, and during this abuse, it was the year 2012 and I could go to the internet and Facebook to learn more about what happened to me. And don’t think that I didn’t start my own community page to reveal my abuser and send my page’s link to all his flying monkeys.

Just think: the narcissist-sociopath uses social-media for their advantage even more than we do; so, even they, are becoming increasingly self-aware of their abuse and who they are.    

But the true reality of the situation is this:  Even I am inundated with sociopath after sociopath article and am forced to stop and reflect: Hmmm…maybe I’m not an empath at all, but a sociopath? I mean, I kinda, sorta, fit some of the behaviors of a sociopath? In actuality, any self-reflective person has to stop and wonder the same thing.  

So, you are thinking, Well, the sociopath isn’t self-reflective … they never see themselves! Not true. Sociopaths appear intelligent because they’re constantly measuring and analyzing their environment and our reactions to their methods and overall behaviors. Narcissists may not self-reflect on their destructive behavior patterns, but they certainly self-reflect on how to improve their self-serving game so to get more narcissistic ego-rewards. 

Don’t forget: Sociopaths are social chameleons.  How can you be a social chameleon and not be self-reflective?

Here is the thinking of Mr. Oh, my town’s predator, and who is featured in my book:

  1. There’s pervert, co-predator, Lance over there, screwing all the lowly and desperate ladies, what a cool lifestyle, I’m envious of him, and since I’m way beyond my prime, and I’m a sex-addict, hanging out with him gives me that pervert-edge – I’m so ‘young’ and sexy trolling the cougar, dirty, old man bars with him – Give me attention and validation – even though these lowly ladies only want my food, house, and money, at least they’re smiling up at me, and stroking my ego (and other things), as I pay their way. (Most all narcissist-sociopaths are sexual predators and attract or cultivate co-predators.)
  1. Oh, there’s Lynna now. I do like to hang with her, but she’s not a dirty, old man pervert, but she’s fun anyway and we do cool things like hiking, and swimming, and visiting Buddhist Monasteries together; these distractions are all very stimulating and ease my constant sense of boredom. And in my other life, I am a loving, spiritual, guru man. Hopefully Lynna will give me sex, but if not, I’ll attract all the ‘healing’ yoga ladies with my inappropriately long hair. Plus, she’s educated, and a yoga teacher, and published a book, so I can use her credentials to impress my flying monkeys. (The narcissist self-promotes himself through the credentials of his partner/flying monkeys.)
  1. Wait, there’s Betty, The Fundamental Christian: I’m shifting over to yet another one of my lives: superficial, plastic, generic, meaningless, image only. Betty uses and abuses me for food, entertainment and favors, but strokes my ego while doing so, with words like, “You’re the greatest man ever … You’re a rock, a superman …” This makes me feel worthy and alive. Plus, she’s superficial, shallow, plastic, caked-on with products, and an overall generic Southern Californian – she serves my superficial and base-image well. But most importantly, I don’t mind going with her to her Fundamental Church because I can relate to the minister’s preaching about morality – I’m moral – and not to mention, I am attracted to the preaching minister because he’s focused and determined (I don’t have these traits, but believe that I do have these traits, but wish that I could have these traits – I know, my mind is a constantly revolving contradiction); and the minister is really good looking!  (Narcissists are not only shallow and into image only, but believe themselves to be moral and superior to others; the God Complex; Delusions of Grandeur.) 

Yes, most narcissist-sociopaths have some self-awareness; that is if he/she is not primarily delusional, or in a prolonged state of schizophrenia. How can they be such savvy shape-shifters if they weren’t self-aware?

I believe that the most significant evidence of their being somewhat self-aware is this: They know how to act completely loving and doting toward us in public, to impress others and their flying monkeys, but behind closed-doors, they act cruel, vicious, and heartless towards us.   

And as I too wrote: We’re going through a subconscious-shift in awareness (some of us are more aware than others) that’s penetrating our material world; and because of social-media, many of us are able to not only express, but project our thoughts, opinions, and observations regarding what happened to us, and who and what these predators, users, and abusers are. Our wave of thoughts, speeches (who amongst us hasn’t called someone a narcissist or sociopath lately?), and writings have certainly hit upon and impacted the narcissist-sociopath as well.  

The real question is: How many of us are going to continue with our own pattern of being so desperate for the approval of someone else – so desperate for love – that we allow these people to continue growing in strength by allowing them to love bomb us and have almost immediate sex with us; and by giving them permission to enter and take over our lives without first laying down standards and requirements of a relationship, and without using our discerning intelligence and mental awareness? 

Lynna, Author of the book, “My Sociopath”

(article slightly edited from its original publication date of 9-29-18)

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Author: My Sociopath

Oceanside, California

4 thoughts on “Do Sociopaths Know That They’re Sociopaths?”

  1. Wow this is my life to. T. I’ve been living with a narcissist for 11 years married with a little girl that’s watching it all. I hate myself for even bievinv e was a decent person he’s all but :-\ med my soul out of me he’s currently seeing another woan who knows he’s married and still claims he is here. Wow I need to find the strength to run as fast as I can away before he ruins my wholei life cuz that’s what he’s doing. He has recently ok med me out of our home and I was living in my car while he was having some other girl at our house knowing I had no whee to go. Imagine that. Bes a fuckin asshole and after reading this I know now all I had thought a real he is a sociopAth he denies it cuz his family wouldn’t accept it but honestly his whole family is just like him. To the author of this book you are a.amazing thanks for writing g this your saving my life

    1. Hope you’re doing better now. Yes, it’s often the case, more often than not, that their families are f*cked up as well. However, they’ll often lie and claim that they came from good families. Either they’re in the habit of lying about their families or they’re delusional (many sociopaths are).

  2. “Well, the sociopath isn’t self-reflective … they never see themselves!”
    That’s something I’ve heard way too much.


    Jesus Christ, thank you.
    As somewhat of a sociopath myself, I’m glad that someone analyzed the whole situation. It is truly impossible for someone like me to NOT know, considering how many social media posts I see, and heck, even I study a bit of psychology. So yeah, I would have to be living under a rock or utterly deluded not to think, “Hey, why does everyone else behave this way and I don’t?” Granted, I didn’t always know what a sociopath was, but I sure did know that there was something different in my brain.

    Again, thanks for the article.

    1. Thank you for commenting. I agree with you: I think by now, many people are aware that there may be something “wrong” with them. Heck, even somewhat typical people doubt themselves on occasion because of the stressed out world we’re living in.

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