Do Sociopaths know that they are Sociopaths?

monster_thinkingWe have all heard that sociopaths/narcissists never recognize that they are disordered and that they basically live in delusion and denial as everything around them falls apart…especially relationships. They never connect-the-dots that they are the common denominator in their wrongly lived lives.

I have often wondered the accuracy of current sociopath/narcissist repeated information. In my book I assert that sociopaths/narcissists do have empathy but not in the way we are used to seeing or understanding empathy.  I describe what I coin as the “Empathy Link.” I also hypothesize that Asperger’s (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and Narcissism can look similar and perhaps there is a brain connection between the disorders but the main difference being is that those with Sociopathy/Narcissism know how to deceive, manipulate and control social situations whereas those with Asperger’s do not have this skill.

Also, how can anyone claim that psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists are 1-4% of the population (Robert Hare’s statistic and then repeated by other writers)?  Most of the personality disordered (not counting the overt and violent psychopaths that end up in jail) covertly and underhandedly ruin lives by lying, cheating, undermining, gas-lighting, playing the victim, triangulating people against one another, smearing and ruining the reputation of their exes and other people that refuse to be controlled….and they GET AWAY WITH IT because of their uncanny ability to keep low-level enablers and toxic codependent people as their support network.

These horrible monsters go a lifetime ruining lives and most of their victims suffer a lifetime of depression and trauma not understanding what hit them. The monster is rarely held accountable but merely moves on to love-bomb and flatter the next person that will allow it…he never looks back and the low-level expectations of our narcissistic society does not require him to be a REAL MAN or to own responsibility.

Back to the repeated claim that sociopaths do not know that they are sociopaths.  Perhaps this is no longer the case?  With victims, targets, and psychologists abundantly writing all over social media on this subject…With victims and targets not only calling their abusive partners “sociopaths” and “narcissists” but giving their abusers the details of  what they are doing:  “You are triangulating me”  or “You are gas-lighting me” or “Stop SMEARING me” –  Yes, this is me,  I say all these things to the many bad men that I attract…one of my Sexual Predator Boyfriends even responded back, “Yes, it is fun manipulating you.”….With so much current public and easily accessible information regarding toxic personalities and the destruction they cause, perhaps sociopaths/narcissists are starting to recognize themselves?  This does not mean that he/she will change…but it may mean that there is a societal recognition of Bad People that Covertly Destroy and these Bad People are feeling the pressure.

This pressure can either weaken the Sociopath’s support network – meaning their toxic codependent enablers will leave the scene of the crime out of fear and cowardice that they will be linked to The Monster – or, The Monster will become smarter because he too has access to the same Red-Flag checklist and other destructive sociopath techniques that we have access to.  I tend to believe the latter.  Just as we grow smarter and more informed so too does The Destructive Monster.


Here is a comment left on Facebook by Sheryl on January 15, 2016 (slightly edited to shorten and for clarification):

I was with a sociopath for 15 years and at the end he told me that he was a “sociopath” and I should research it because during those years, I kept trying to help him find out what was wrong: Asperger’s, anger issues, whatever.

I researched and I was shocked.  He removed his mask after he detached from me and proudly told me that he was a sociopath and how he was grooming his next victim.   I had to let him stay in our house for a year because he threatened to ruin me financially, so I had a front-row seat.  He was textbook and very well aware.  He would go from saying that he was going to get help – see a counselor – to saying there was nothing wrong with him and that “sociopaths were going to take over the world.”  He had done counseling before and said it helped him be a better sociopath (narcissist too). He is aware and uses that knowledge to his benefit.

He told me he would cheat on his next victim.  His reason for leaving one of them was that he suddenly wanted a child, a boy, and he wanted someone that was professionally higher than me, someone his age (I am older), and someone more needy than me so he could control her.

He “interviewed” three women, all professionals and chose the one who would sleep with him first without protection so he could get her pregnant right away.  He told me before he left that I would always belong to him and he would always monitor me just as he did his former wife and girlfriends.  He is an IT expert so I have no doubt he does this.  After he left to be with her, he contacted me a few times when he was fighting with her and wanted sympathy and when he wanted me to do something for him.  I have had zero contact for over one year now.

It has taken me two full years to actually begin real recovery where I feel happiness again instead of my sick addiction to the horror party he was.  I know that he has a baby boy; he sent me pictures after he was born.  I believe he will control this boy all his life.  He told me he wanted a child because now he will never be bored.

What are your thoughts?  Do you believe Sociopaths know that they are Sociopaths?  Or is it a case by case situation?  Just like us…sociopaths are all different…perhaps some are a bit introspective and some are in automatic-mode of destruction without thought?

Forget what the so-called experts claim.  The targets and victims of sociopaths are the ones with the most accurate knowledge of these destructive people and we all must keep spreading our insight.  Yes, some sociopaths will become more deceptive and more savvy because of this mass information, but so too will potential victims and maybe, just maybe, some toxic enablers will also wake up and stop aiding, supporting, and cultivating this destruction of human lives.


Author: My Sociopath

Oceanside, California

4 thoughts on “Do Sociopaths know that they are Sociopaths?”

  1. I think they know they are different from most everyone, or everyone is different from them- from time to time. The fella in the story above probably used that word as a justification for what he was doing. Normally, people do not like labels (even the mentally ill). I once had a boyfriend who I could swear was an aspie- until he felt comfortable enough in our new life to show his other features of what looked like sociopathy. He played fair (after being found out) and took a psych test I had from abnormal psych class, and had I not been sitting there – would not have been honest. No answered that wrong, “Well- he said, I am not like that ‘now’..hmm.. answer it how you were a month ago before you did what you did. He answered honestly after that.. and he scored a very high score for Antisocial traits. Enlightening..yes.
    Okay I said, I will forgive, if you promise to never lie, not one time again..ever. He lasted about 3
    They cannot learn, (they do not have a place to store those tagged emotions) so they can’t return to them in a impulsive moment, but rather use the hard wired place of self justification for their choice.-(in my case) his yet. again. lie, and I do believe even if he tried by sticking sticky notes everywhere, to follow the prompts..he couldn’t do it.

    1. I agree. I’ve had a chance to reflect back the last few days on this topic and yes, they tell us who and what they are,,,,but most of us block this information out, or deny it, because we think we are the one that will make him “human.”

      I had a very disturbed man tell me that he fells like Steppenwolf…based upon the main character in the book “Steppenwolf” by Herman Hesse (not the rock group, hehe).

      I read the book (this is not suggested if you are in trauma or ‘narcissist abuse’ recovery). “Steppenwolf” is a character that is torn between Man and Animal and he ultimately becomes Hedonistic (do whatever he feels like: sex, food and drinking, partying, indulgence). Hedonism is a life where you fill all your animal desires and you have no moral obligation to anyone…everything is about making yourself feel satiated.

      It’s sick stuff but this very sick man that I know, told me he feels like “Steppenwolf” and because at that time, I didn’t know who “Steppenwolf” was, I shrugged it off that it wasn’t important.

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