I’ve been discussing Sociopaths on Facebook for almost a year now, and never got hit with anger before. For the first time, I mention BPD and there is an out-lash.
I thought the anger was coming from the Facebook War going on between the different Sociopath/Narcissist Page/Group Administrators and it finally came to me over here. I’ve stayed out of the fb fighting, keep a low profile, don’t promote my pages but then someone turned it around on me and became angry that I “should take sides.” Just can’t win.
I then considered that maybe I did strike a nerve unknowingly, even though what I wrote are mere observation listed in a factual way without my emotions being inserted in.
I reviewed the research again and yes: both Sociopaths/Bpd’s do have obsessions with monitoring, tracking, spying…But most everyone knows this!
Normal people don’t do this. I’ve never tracked, monitored, spied on, or invaded the life of anyone. This is not love. This is not a friendship nor is it normal between family members. This is a desperate attempt to control the outside environment (people) because there is no sense of inner control.
Yes, BPD people tend to get involved with married partners because they are more delusional, equate “love” with the drama involved and there’s a certain distance that can be maintained. Many have such warped egos that they believe they “won” out over the husband. It becomes a game for the BPD…winning, tricking and “pulling one over” on the husband. All the while, not even absorbing the deception on their part (the BPD person) let alone the deceptive personality of the wife they are involved with who is cheating, lying, playing games between the husband and the “lover” (the BPD person), and just using the “lover” as a distraction from life with husband, and a “safety net” to fall upon once she is divorced because of the mess she created. It’s a match made in hell.
The BPD person is delusional about “love” and does not make connections that since this woman is deceptive and cunning between her current husband and him, she too will do this to him. The BPD person will have moments of clarity and see things for what they are; he will then create some drama about it all (she still hasn’t left her husband for me?), get “turned on” by the drama with the married woman, equate that drama with love for her, and then slip back into delusions that the “married” woman that doesn’t leave her husband but instead vacations with him is his “soul mate.”
Sociopaths tend to be more possessive and don’t share their women with other men. A Sociopath will cheat with anyone and anything for attention, stimulation, and ego gratification (like the BPD), but if their woman dares look at another man, she is now a “deceiver” and no longer trustworthy. Sociopaths have double standards: they are actual liars, cheaters, and deceivers but their woman cannot move from the restrictive box he contains her in.
A person with BPD can look like a Sociopath because both have no sense of self, have constant drama in their life, and engages in risky behaviors. The “no sense of self” accounts for the obsessive need to track, monitor, spy on and control others. Regarding The BPD Man, the constant drama is being married himself, having a married “girlfriend,” and trying to bring me into the mess (hit upon this in the previous post). The “risky behaviors” are all of these (and more) wrapped up into one.
The BPD Man glowed as he reported to me that he and the “married girlfriend” text each other while she is sitting at lunch/dinner with her husband. Again, not normal stuff: Risky, drama creating, and no sense of self.
This all connects to my previous post on The BPD Man equating the constant tracking, monitoring, spying on to an actual “love” whereas My Sociopath did similar behaviors out of an angry need to find something wrong with the person. Both The BPD Man and My Sociopath live one “train wreck” after another because they are both constantly looking for outside sources for a sense of inner completion. However, My Sociopath was much more sinister, evil and controlled in his crazy-making strategies while The BPD man was much more exposed and appeared to be riding the edge of a breakdown.
Both these men told me that they can’t be alone. When one cannot find a sense of their own being…outside sources are then manipulated, abusively controlled, used for deceptive reasons and ultimately destroyed.
Everything that I wrote previously and the elaboration here is not repeating BPD and Sociopath literature, but it is a combination of my reading other sources and pulling it all together with my first hand experiences with the attempt of making sense of it all.
Lynna, My Sociopath – Struck by A Sociopath