Paula of “Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath” brought up this topic and it got me thinking. Most of us involved in an abusive relationship (past or present), was called “crazy” and then we were the “crazy ex” and often times, the “bi-polar” word is attached to our “craziness.” But why aren’t we “Schizophrenic” or “Manic” or even “Histrionic?” Most Sociopath’s use the “bi-polar” word to describe their “crazy ex” and their resulting “victimization” because of the “crazy ex.”
I came up with what I believe are some answers:
1. Bi-polar is hard to prove or disprove to the casual observer. Anyone can be bi-polar and it is often hidden behind closed doors.
Regarding a mental illness such as Schizophrenia…now that’s out there! I have a cousin with Schizophrenia and he rattles off about gps chips planted in his skin; his food being poisoned by the CIA because his high IQ threatens the whole “system;” his t.v. having an inner camera where the government is monitoring him. There is usually little mistaking a person with Schizophrenia.
Everyone has typical “mood swings” but do many of us have delusions or hear voices?
Plus, who even knows what “Histrionic” is? Most everyone thinks “bi-polar,” ahhh, “mood swings.” When I think of “Histrionic,” I think of an overly sexualized, scantily clad, manipulative woman. If a Sociopath were to call us “Histrionic,” not only would that require more creativity but it would be a “cool” thing for him! It wouldn’t confirm his “victimization” at the hands of a “bi-polar” with crazy ups and downs, but may imply that he’s getting a lot of sex. (all funniness aside, Sociopaths are too dumb to even use the “Histrionic” word against us when “Bi-polar” is so generic and elementary).
2. A Sociopath’s (or any abusive partner) tricks, games, and deceptions make us appear bi-polar.
I recently detailed the “David” ordeal created by My Sociopath (MS, Kenan Umit). To briefly summarize (will then add to it and how it relates to this topic):
MS secretly deleted most of my phone and email contacts. I was to be isolated onto him only. Sociopaths are extremely insecure and therefore must control all aspects of your life and individuality. My mother called from Ohio during a violent freezing hailstorm that was ripping her home apart. She asked me for the phone number of “David,” our family handyman. My mom couldn’t locate the number in her panic and since I grew up with David, I had it.
I went to pull David’s number from my phone, it was gone. I went to get his contact from my email account, it was gone. My mother was crying on the phone. I soon realized that MS deleted most all of my contacts and during this panic (mine and my mother’s on the phone), MS stood back in a corner watching me with his cold, eerie dead face, and vacant stare as I begged him to tell me what happened to David’s contact information.
MS denied deleting my contacts, called me “crazy” and stood like a monster as my mother cried on the phone and I was in a state of confusion of all my missing contacts. (MS later admitted he deleted most all my contacts).
During all this, a worker walked into our business. MS immediately took on this facade of shyness, meekness, victimization, confusion and overall bewilderment on what was happening, on what I was going through. He rolled his eye in a state of despair toward the worker in regards to my panic, and became a little beaten boy in the corner with slumped shoulders and diverted eyes.
When we are “gaslighted” (definition of “gaslighting” from Wikipedia at bottom) or covertly sabotaged by a Sociopath, our biological system goes into a state of panic. To those people that didn’t see what happened leading up to our panic and walk in seeing only our state of confusion and despair, and witness the Sociopath standing eerily calm and emotionless…it is easy to fall into the Sociopath’s trap of the smear campaign: “she’s crazy, bi-polar.”
How many times have you yourself heard: “He/she’s bi-polar” and you think nothing of it? Throwing out “bi-polar” against anyone is an easy escape and an unquestionable way for the Sociopath to appear like the “victim.”
Lynna, My Sociopath – Struck by A Sociopath
Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception andsanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. (Wikipedia)
image source found on: defeatdespair.wordress.com