A Sociopath is very shallow and psychologically stunted and will place obsessive emphasis on the physical appearance of past and current targets. We are all human, live in a superficial world, and our kin in the animal kingdom even has standards of appearance for mating, so this is normal to a degree. However, Sociopaths take the valuing and devaluing of our physical appearance to an extreme level.
When a Sociopath targets you, you are the epitome of health, beauty, robustness and have all the right attributes for “baby making.” A Sociopath is much more primitive and animalistic in their behaviors than a non Sociopath. A Sociopath will make immediate demands for you sexually not only to stake his claim upon you, but will have immediate fantasies about having babies with you. How else can a Sociopath prove that he was always the victim in his past relationships than to create a new family with new babies with a new target? In addition, the Sociopath’s children from former relations now hate him, so this is his chance to have a “loving baby” that will idealize him, albeit for a short time only. And how else can a Sociopath make sure the new target always stays tied to him but through baby making.
My Sociopath’s ex wife was Turkish and they had a child together. The ex wife as well as the 25 year old daughter, hates MS, therefore MS hated the appearance of all Turkish women (including his own sister). Turkish women were too dark, too short and too fat. On the other hand, I was perfect: lighter, taller, and leaner. MS wanted to have a baby with me even though he was 55 years old and in a moment of weakness even said out loud: “This will make Gulay and my daughter jealous.” Sociopaths will tell you what you need to know, you just need to listen.
MS would spy on his ex wife, ex girlfriend (left his ex wife for; left her for me), and all the Turkish women that he cheated on while with the ex girlfriend before me. He reported back to me: “They are all fat and falling apart.” He would go on to explain that they could never do as good as they did while with him. Sociopaths really believe this: You cannot survive without them and will physically fall apart once you are left for another target.
A Sociopath is psychologically stunted and on the same developmental level as a toddler. How do children attack one another? Physical appearance is the first attacking point of a child and people with personality disorders because physical appearance is not only the most superficial thing to shred apart, but an attack on our physicality penetrates and injures our feelings of placement in the social group.
Even though a Sociopath will despise your physical appearance during and long after the devaluing stage of your relationship, he is rarely cognizant of his own physical appearance. It took me 2-years of severe abuse to finally start speaking up to MS and after one of his reports to me regarding a “fat” ex, I stated, “But you have a weight problem as well.” We all know the dead, cold stare of a Sociopath. During my many attempts to divorce MS, he would yell at me that I was looking old and point out a wrinkle that was developing. MS is not only short, fat, and bald, but 13 years older than me. A Sociopath has little inner awareness of or connection to their own physical appearance and aging process.
Going back to the days of MS pedestalling me in our relationship and the “Turkish women are short and fat” and I am “taller and leaner” comments: Out in the hallway of the courthouse on divorce day, MS hisses to me: “I am marrying a Turkish woman with a huge fat ass, not skinny like yours.” A Sociopath is never consistent with any one thought, value or belief. Everything is chaos and living-in-the moment in the mind of a Sociopath. A Sociopath will idealize the physical appearance of what ever target is currently providing care and attention to their ego. One thing that a Sociopath is always consistent in is their superficiality and ease in attacking the physical.
We’ve all heard “the best revenge is living well.” This is especially true when you have been Struck by A Sociopath. While seeking “revenge,” you are giving yourself the greatest gift possible by being fit, strong and healthy. Physical well being will enhance your emotional recovery and not to mention boost your hormonal system. Sociopaths wipe out your entire hormonal system by increasing cortisone levels (the stress hormone) and fatiguing your adrenals (fight or flight).
In the end: “skinny ass” or “huge fat ass” will not matter to your next healthy and loving partner, but as far as your recovery and feeling good about your self is concerned, try to make not only your ass but all of your parts the healthiest, strongest, and best possible. Then be rest assured that your Sociopath is not only seething with contempt because you did not physically fall apart and rot away without him, but he is the one that continues to mentally and as a result physically decompose under his own inner chaos and turmoil.
Lynna, My Sociopath-Struck by A Sociopath