I am very liberal. I spent most of my life involved in animal rights on all levels and even “direct action,” spending time in jail for chaining myself with numerous others to the fur racks at Macy’s. More recently, I was the lead organizer for many trap, spay/neuter, re-release projects of street cats/dogs all over Southern California and throughout the country of Turkey. On the human realm: I advocate for special education children, on occasion still pick up the oddly out-of-place (wrong decade that is) hitchhiker, make and deliver food to my shut-in neighbor, and have appointed myself “designated driver” for a few lost souls (mere strangers) at a bar/restaurant that I frequent. No wonder I am a prime target for Sociopaths and Borderlines.
Speaking of the bar/restaurant: I have a great group of older male-friends that I socialize with and seek out advise. They guide me through life and even straighten me out when I start projecting the “victim” attitude and posture. The guys not only look out for me but constantly tease me for my liberal views, and since many of them fought in Vietnam, they are pro-gun. I kill nothing and even gently escort all spiders, no matter how big and scary looking, out of my house and into a safe bush.
I entered my regular “establishment” yesterday after the Connecticut Mass Shooting and said, “Well, what do you think about guns now?” I thought for sure my liberal ways would prevail with this loaded question. One of the guys responded back: “If the teachers had guns, so many wouldn’t have died.” My mouth hung open, I became speechless and meekly respond, “Oh, that’s true.” This resonated with me on another level as well: I am a teacher and have been in some dangerous situations.
This morning, my mind flashed back to a discussion that I had a few weeks earlier with a friend and she said: If we all publicly exposed the sick people that use, exploit, cause damage, and harm us, perhaps they would not be able to destroy the innocents over and over again. But are the horrible people that cause so much harm and destruction to innocent people exposed? Not usually, and especially the Sociopaths that cause destruction in covert ways.
When a Sociopath’s target is slowly dismantled (emotionally; psychologically; reputation and social-standing wise), soon the target’s life is filled with shame and guilt. The individuals that attract Sociopaths and those with other Personality Disorders, are usually people-pleasers with low self-esteem and wobbly self-boundaries. When we realize that we not only attracted, but welcomed yet another “crazy” person into our lives, we feel shame and embarrassment, blame ourselves and ultimately shut-down. Who is protected in the end? The Sociopath is and he/she can easily move on to their next target.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we have to watch everything we say, give everyone the benefit-of-the-doubt, worry about being sued for “slander” and basically tolerate everyone and everything. What if the good people stood up against the bad people, exposed them, fought them, and became strong against them?
What if the teachers did have guns?
And for those harmed by Sociopaths or someone with a Personality Disorder: What if you didn’t hide away with shame? What if you spoke out, used your experiences to teach others, and stood tall and strong for what you believe in?
Lynna, My Sociopath – Struck by A Sociopath