My Transition over to my new blog and into my new awareness of Sociopaths

I had a blog over at blogger.com discussing the strange relationships that I had in the past 20 years with two Turkish men.  My blog was focused on the extreme arrogance, narcissism, extroversion and “game playing” of these 2 men.

I wrote from the “Turkish Culture” angle until I was recently struck in the face by “The Sociopathic Brick” in particular with Turk 2.  Turk 1 now looks like a “Sociopathic Baby” (maybe he’s an extreme narcissist even, don’t know) in comparison.

My world just split wide open and I was thrown into the hell fires of the Creepy Sociopathic World.  I have attached below my last writing from http://mysociopaths.blogspot.com/ (it used to be called “my life with turks,” I just changed the name yesterday) as sort of a transition over here to my new blog and to my life with the awareness that I slept with evil.

Stranger yet, everything that I was writing over at the other blog with the focus on the “Turkish Culture,” I was really writing about Sociopathy without even knowing it.

__________________________________________________________

From Phase One and Two, to Turk One and Two, to damn…I was struck by Sociopaths! Trust me, I’m confused too!

 I am now blaming my mother for my entire life’s mess!  Why did she NOT teach me “borders,” how to say “f!@# off you CREEP, get the hell out of my life,” to have confidence as the great, charming, smart, beautiful woman that I am and only settle for the BEST MEN!!!  Yes, my great mother that taught me to be NICE TO EVERYONE, ACCEPTING OF EVERY DESTROYING CREEPY M’ F!@#er!  
Help again!  Everything that I’ve been expressing in my writings regarding Turk One (Phase One) and Turk Two (Phase Two)…Yes, it is surely traits of their TURKISHNESS (or let’s just say, cultural upbringing with crazy coddling and enabling mothers and sisters) that is in part contributing to THEIR DAMN SOCIOPATHY! YES, SOCIOPATHY!

People warned me with both Turk 1 and Turk 2 and I did a “hee-hee” and brushed it off as Psycho-babble weird talk.  It took me almost 20-years to wake up from my Comatose Stupor and actually think past, “well, you know, all people are a little crazy” and “Turks are strangely egocentric and arrogant” to feel the metaphorical brick hitting me square in my blind and nearsighted eyes!  I feel bruised and swollen.  I let SOCIOPATHIC MEN take charge of me and run over me most of my life as I screamed and whaled out like a POW slowly losing their mind.  It felt so good to be completely controlled by Creepy Men…I was special.

Another side of Creepy: I don’t have the sick self-confidence to say “go back and read all my past writings on this blog and you will see that I am writing about Sociopaths without using the word ‘Sociopath’ because I was still in OBLIVION” because frankly, I don’t have a sick ego that believes anyone will take the time to do that.  But trust me, it is all there…in black/white, running off my brain, down my arm and out through my fingertips, and I didn’t F@#$en’ see it!  Who should be shot and put out of their misery: Me or My SOCIOPATHS!?

Now on to my stupidity with this Blog…I continually forget how to access it and when I do get in, I cannot work most of the features.  Once the Sociopath Ice-pick jammed up my nose, I went over to Freaky Facebook to start writing “My Sociopath.”  Now I can’t get my Facebook “Page” to interact.  I can’t even leave the page, I am stuck on it without even a “search box” to hook up with other “Sociopath” facebook pages.  I then went to Twitter and started @mysociopath just out of desperation to get something to work as far as “connecting” and “interacting” is concerned.  I have an 8-year old laptop that has never been upgraded so don’t know if it’s the old browsers (can’t be update either because of out-of-date system requirements) that I’m using or all “My Sociopaths” have wiped out all my cognitive abilities.

I will attempt to clear up my blog, facebook, and twitter mess (even have an animal rescue website that I wrote with a lot of mistakes that I will attempt to fix) by combining all together and perhaps the stars will align themselves and something will work!  Life Rule: If NOTHING WORKS just connect everything together.  Just like Life Rule #2: If Sociopath Turk #1 doesn’t work out and leaves you ruined, move onto Sociopath Turk #2.

 

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Author: My Sociopath

Oceanside, California

11 thoughts on “My Transition over to my new blog and into my new awareness of Sociopaths”

  1. I have been a victim of not one but 3 sociopaths first the man i loved for 7 years off and on and recently my own sister and brother in law..they left me and i am going to be homeless tomorrow and they continue to say hateful things to me..i have always wnated to write a book about this as so many ppl are unaware of the red flags but i have lost everything i have only my 2 cats left. i have chrnic pain..and severe trauma from what they did to me. i have one more day and i will b thrown out of my apartment. and my cats also and we ahve nowhere to go i lost my car last year. they are DEMONS and ppl need to be warned about them much more.

  2. Regarding the “Southern California” mentality…you are right on again. And again, wrong as it applies to me. That is why I am a great “target” for predators because i do NOT fit the “Southern California” typical materialistic, shopping, plastic-surgery, gold-digging, partying, attention-seeking woman type. Again, not making excuses by calling myself a “target,” but there does come a time (like you’ve mentioned) that I must take responsibility.

    And yes, regarding me and the Turkish man thing…I have been speaking to an attorney regarding my divorce and it is embarrassing to me that I let myself be run over by not only a Turkish man, but a Muslim Turkish man…the attorney is looking at me like “what the f@!k” and the attorney is getting a whole cultural education on these men and what games they play during a divorce…

    Turkish men must control the entire divorce process no matter what lies, twist/turns, games are played and then I am luck enough to have the sociopath aspect thrown in…and whala, embarrassing “Drama Psycho Land” for me and the attorney to muddle through…

    So don’t believe for one second that the attorney and i don’t mention my weird thing for Turkish men. Have I finally learned my lesson? Hell yeah….I think that I’ve been burnt enough for 4-life times…oh, I’ve spent a lot of time in Turkey as my pix demonstrate: ) I actually speak a lot of Turkish and worked on Animal Rescue Projects in Turkey too!

    So barking up the wrong tree: unlike most people, I take responsibility for my own messes because that is the only way to avoid future ones! And unlike the typical Southern California woman, i am a little bit smart too; }

  3. May be sociopathic or may not be. Rather than read a few books or google the “symptoms” online. And then come to the conclusion, “oh yeah,” thats exactly what my ex had.
    More than anything, get an education in the mental health field. Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like the incompetent attorney’s and judges you wrote about. Everybody is a poor mans attorney or doctor. The term “jailhouse lawyer” comes to mind.

    I would look more towards the Middle eastern culture and the way they are raised. No less than Paula Renee Reeves and her experience, with a man of the Hispanic culture. Even more to the point for her, not just Mexican American, but South American. Countries where the macho, men control everything culture goes really “old school” there!

    Yet I would have to lay some blame on Paula for her ignorance, as well as yourself. Of not understanding exactly what these men, raised in these 3rd world cultures represent. Being naive and probably having deeper issues yourselves and being vulnerable to it.
    To the point with her. The fact that she was not even divorced yet. So still was having major issues, perhaps with self esteem, loneliness, etc. And was prime for being used and manipulated. And I am certainly NOT an advocate of trying to start another relationship, before the last one is finished. The word “rebound” comes to mind here.
    If you or her are going to have a “swarthy man” addiction, take the good with the bad. I’m not saying that American men cannot also be that same way. But as a whole, caucasion American men are raised on a more equality based footing.

    You cannot expect the courts to somehow protect you from your naivette’ of certain men of differant cultures. Like they protect the elderly from people that sell aluminum siding. Or from merchants charging ten times more for repairs to a damaged home.
    You are an adult and take some responsibility for making a poor choice. Stop choosing to play the victim and expect somebody to, save you from yourself. Why don’t you try looking inside, to find why you are vulnerable to this?

    Everything can be made clear, by simply looking at Match.com and womens profiles. Take the fairly attractive, 45yr old woman, 2 kids at home, “some college” education but no degree. Working the low wage job and living paycheck to paycheck. Looking for a long term, serious and commited relationship.
    Yet here are the standard demands for their “match.” First, he may be 2-3yrs older, but up to 20yrs younger than her. She has an “average” body type and he must be “athletic and toned.” She posts “some college” and no answer for her income. He must have a Bachelors minnimum and make 75-100K minnimum.
    She is 5′ 4″ and he must be at least 6ft. And she explains this as, because she “loves her heels.” Even though maybe 15% of her life is spent wearing them. The key word here is, SHALLOW! She has specific requirements for hair, eye color, occupation, etc. Many even have kids living at home full time. But they want the man to have NO kids, or they live away from home. Because they DO NOT want to help raise another womans kid(s) especially girls! (Thats a fact) And every womans profile mentions needing, “awesome chemistry.”

    So do you see the problem here? The key words are, shallow, pretentious, demanding and entitled. Requiring their “match” to bring more to the relationship table, than they are. More education (earning potential) more money, fitness, youth, freedom of child rearing responsibilities, etc.
    The ignorance is believing that a 30yr old, tall, fit, educated and successful man,with no kids. wants a “serious and long term” thing. With a middle aged, uneducated, low wage, broke, washed up woman, with major emotional issues. And that is where they open the door WIDE, to be played by these men online.
    Don’t blame those men for preying on them. Blame the entitled princess, for thinking she had enough value to “date up.” These guys will use them mercilessly and dump them like yesterdays trash. Yet these same women, go back online and repeat the cycle, over and over again, for YEARS!

    Do you see a recurring theme here? It’s all about the “chemistry!” If they are attracted to the wrapper, they ignore the contents of the package inside. Being a good, honest, hard working, caring and attentive partner, just isn’t good enough for them.
    So I personally think, they deserve what they get from these guys. Because they use words like, “not willing to settle” or “I know what I want and am worth.” If they think “settling for less” is finding a great guy, thats 5′ 8″? They are beyond help!

    1. Jordan, I respect what you are saying, really! However, you went onto another subject all together: The mediocre woman with NOT a lot to bring to the table seeking out the exceptional man.

      That is not the case with me. I am not a braggart but the opposite is true in my situations: I have everything to offer and because of “low self-esteem,” I shoot for a low-level man. I think I like the thrill of it all: “Beauty and the Beast” mentality…I want to “save the Beast.” Also, I do not relationship hop, not my style. I know it doesn’t fit with the “low self-esteem” and “Saving the Beast” thing but none-the-less, it is true.

      And you are not going to believe this: but I agree with you about the women on these crazy online dating sites…you described their profile very well. However, not me again.

      About me being the “victim,” you have a point…I am not asking for pity via my writings, I am only trying to process the information myself. Do I expect miracles from attorneys and judges, that they are going to save the “victims?” No, I do not…but I do expect attorneys and judges to act with common sense and maybe have some intelligence inside their ADHD brains.

      Did I get myself into my own troubles? “Yes,” I was naive, and “No” that is not an accuse…but that doesn’t mean the offender should be excused either.
      Lynna

      1. I get what your saying about low self esteem. Unfortunately, it seems to be part of every womans genetic makeup. Perhaps a “beaty and the beast” mentality on your part. But from what I’ve read, he at least “appeared” to offer a solid financial base. And to include, I’m sure before you two exchanged bank statements. You were also very attracted to him physically.
        And it was the physical attraction that caused you to put aside any practical thoughts. About what kind of culture these men are raised in. When your hormones are raging, your brain isn’t working properly. Does he bear any responsibility? Of course he does. However, he was only as effective as your ignorance to his manipulations allowed. I mean you weren’t drugged or hypnotized were you?

        As for my analogy of dating websites goes. I’m trying to highlight the shallowness that is rampant in our culture. And to a greater extent, perpetuated by women. Who, for the majority of, are in constant competition with each other.
        Lets be real here, shall we. You live in Southern Calif. (my old stomping grounds) It’s all about the best house, expensive car, designer handbag and shoes. Plastic surgery, top end salons, manicures and pedicures. Are you saying you do not buy into these things around you? And why do women need all these things? To compete with other women, for the attention of men.

        My dating website comments, are to highlight patterns. I have an ability to quickly recognize and diagnose patterns. If your pattern is to seek out Turkish men, find out why. As I referenced your’s and Paula’s plight with men of different cultures. Have either you or her spent time in their respective countries?
        I can tell you that I have. Their legal system, goverments, belief system, morality system, ideas of a “proper” man woman relationship, etc. Are completely different and to a certain degree, neanderthal to ours. Yet who am I to judge how another culture has lived for several millenia? However, relationships are hard enough already. Without throwing hurdles of race, creed, color, religeon, etc on top of it.
        What I am saying is this. Any fairly educated and PRACTICAL mind could see what the future held for you two. Perhaps not to the degree it deteriorated, but definately doomed from the start. I have never seen a modern American woman and a traditional Middle Eastern man, relationship work out. Nor a traditional Hispanic man and a modern “Americanized” woman. Simply put, it is what it is.
        The trap is for any woman to enter a relationship with an attractive man. Thinking that he is maybe 50-70% of what she wants. And after the marriage or a period of time, she will change him into the perfect man. NOT happening! I hope you are beyond this myth now?

      2. my mom had so much potential and good in her. I told her again to stay away. I would have thuhgot that my Aunt, having worked with mental health patients for many years would have seen this, but she has a good heart and believes in the good of others. After several extremely abusive verbal attacks by my mother on that same Aunt, our time in my Grandfather’s house ended on Labor Day weekend of this year. My mom assaulted my Aunt. Violently. She shoved her multiple times, punched her in the face, cornered her in the kitchen, and when my Aunt escaped into the livingroom my mom chased her and shoved her on the ground, punching her and eventually biting her left arm so badly the bruise wrapped around her arm. Almost all of it in front of the kids. Her two Grandkids and my Aunt’s youngest who was 14. After I called the cops and got outside with the kids, completely unable to help my Aunt what-so-ever (my Aunt used tactics she had learned to diffuse situations with mentally ill patients, none of which worked, they only served to empower my mother. She even continued to back up with her hands up) I realized what I had done. I held my cousin while we sat on the front porch hearing it all and still helpless, while she cried so hard she was shaking. I looked into my son’s eyes and saw the fear and pain I had promised when I was pregnant with him that he would never experience. I moved my family here. I hurt my kids by letting her near them. We had to move out literally within a day. My Grandpa bailed her out of jail. I will never understand why, but to make matters worse, I had been searching for her gun in her room and I never found the gun, only the bullets. We are now technically homeless, my 9 year old is in trauma therapy, my husband still has not gotten a job but has recieved a billion rejection emails, and we just took the last draw from our 401k. He has no retirement left. $60,000 gone. I thuhgot paying the bills at my Grandpa’s, buying all the food, getting him things to make him happy, was the right thing to do. But i did it at the expense of my family. I qualify for no help, no therapy, no medicaid. We have a house that we lived in previously and could not sell it, so we tried to rent it out, except the renter did not pay rent. He owes us over $5,000 in rent that we will never see. We live in an RV behind my Aunt and Uncles house. Slowly, over a course of about 22 years, I am finally putting the puzzle pieces together. It’s like a 1,000 piece puzzle with no pictures on it. I am falling apart, no one can guide me through this. I mourn for what i never had in my mother and what never will be. I cry when we pick my son up from school and I see all the mother’s holding their kid’s hands. My inner child is still suffering. All I keep hearing is I’m sorry we can’t help you. My life is wrecked. Additionally, the trial date is set for November 19th, and it is going to be extremely bad. My Aunt has called and checked on my Grandpa twice since we have been gone, never once speaking to my mother. He told my Aunt the reason he hadn’t called was because my mom had told him the PPO made it illegal for HIM to call us. My Aunt explained this was not true. Then we recieved a letter from my mom’s attorney requesting us to cease and disist contact to his client’s residency. She needs my Grandpa isolated. I failed him, I failed my Grandmother, my kids, myself. What I feel cannot be explained. I still have nightmares in which she is laughing at me while I cry. Please know that all you guys are doing in your children’s lives, it isn’t in vain!! And, if they do not see it now, who that person truly is, they will. Be there to catch them. They will need it. Bless all of you for sticking it out for your kids. I had my Grandparents thank God (my Dad was not in the picture either) but unfortunately my Grams was not here to catch me now. I cling to hope. To a life I have created in my head that we will have again. It’s all I have left.

    2. he would go to counseling, go to AA for gis dnkniirg and so on. Again, he knew all the right things to say and I fell for it. Oh, he had also been through 4 different jobs by now so of course, needed money too. I was so stupid in letting him back in. We had an off / on relationship. He’d take off or get caught in a lie or with another woman and it was over. Then he pulled the slick super charming personality or the pityful needs help and regardless pf how wrong I knew he was for us, I’d take him back. One day when we werent together, he stopped by to see his son. His son had already gone to bed but I let him in anyway, hoping to be able to talk. That night, he forced himself on me. I hadnt been feeling well, had gone to the doctor and was on antibiotics so yes, my birth control failed. I am now 6 months pregnant with our second. Given his behavior and my mom confident in that I have spent the past 3 years as an abused wife who would not leave her husband, everyone said I needed to terminate. Bein a mother already, there was no way I could do that. He of course duped me into believing we were a family and we were going to do this, the right way. Days, even months went by and he continued to do his own thing while I sat helpless and pathetic begged him to spend time with us. the only response I would get was F you an again, all was my fault. He spent Thanksgiving with his friends drunk and ignored my family. He stopped by for about 20 minutes at his son’s first birthday. But on the phone, he would tell ne over and over that we are a family and this is what he wants and he loved all of us, etc. Just before Christmas, I recieved a text that said LOL F You and that was it, he was gone. He left his job, blocked our phone numbers and for several weeks, had gone missing. I sent him 3 emails in total asking if he was ok and called his work once to see if they had heard from him. Just a few days ago, a friend of his called me because he had posted pictures on his Facebook page with his new girlfriend (his mom’s horse trainer). I was in complete disbelief. To make things worse, he recently tried to get a restraining order on me for harassing him (thank goodness I never deleted anything) and for threatening to kidnap his son. Um, excuse me but I am the one in the same house with the same phone number, same routine, same work contact info Kidnap? OH and it also said that he wasnt sure that his son was really his anymore. I have been in COMPLETE shock over this. Thankfully, I have a great attorney but for him to go this far and drag my name in the mud? With all this going on, his ex wife contacted me. She said that he did the exact same to her (when she was pregnant with their second, he ran to his mothers an found another woman. Then took her to Court). What I didnt know was that he owes $25,000 in back child support, is under child support enforcement with her, has had his DL suspended several times AND has been arrested several times. I also learned that he has a criminal backgroud, including vehicular homicide, that apparently he has no regret for because it really wasnt his fault. I am now terrified of this man. He has spent years lying to me and covering things up. He has ruined my credit, stolen from my kids and I and left me with a ton of medical debt. So many things are coming to light now and I am terrified to ever have shared parenting with him. I feel so stupid and my sel esteem is gone. My kids are my life, always have been, and they are the reason I get up every morning. I feel as though I have been played like a complete fool . Every book I have read, article, or website on a sociopath hits home. There has not been one description of a sociopath that I have read that I have had the slightest bit of doubt on. I feel like they are all writing about this man. Is there a way to get a Judge to see that?? Shouldnt his past (even with his two other children) come into play? I am scared. I no longer know what he is capable of.

  4. I read some of your posts about the Turks. I figured you would realize it wasn’t their ethnicity but their sociopathic minds that made them the way they are. You’ve done a fine job cleaning up after yourself. Hehe!

    1. thank you Paula for seeing that. What I was trying to do was explain that there “may be more sociopaths in certain cultures.” I’ve walked the streets of Turkey for many years now in horror over how men and women, young and old, just kick the poor starving street animals and continue to walk on to go shopping or to hang out in some bar/restaurant. For me, it’s like walking in hell. However, the Turks have grown immune to it and have told me those exact words when I’ve asked them how they can just ignore the suffering.

      1. Dear Lyn,I understand coetpmlely your comments about always being on guard, shaking due to anxiety, and then telling yourself that you are being dramatic. This is what happens to those that have been so affected by a sociopath. I even had the court appointed guardian ad litem label me as reactive in her court report. Although there was much more (and much of it very inaccurate and poorly written), that one phrase is what my children’s father and his attorney focused on. It has taken so very long, but the judge finally recognized what was happening and stated in court that I was being hyper vigilant in order to protect my kids, and rightly so. Validation FINALLY was a physical relief. You are absolutely right to be nervous about going through the court system to change your court order. It is always a risk, particularly because the very people that should be working WITH us to protect our children are clueless as to what a sociopath truly is and what they are capable of. I believe you do have a chance though, especially because you have stated that you have documented his visitation violations. If you are able to consult with an attorney, I recommend it. Although, again, you need to find one that has SOME understanding of what you are dealing with and the damage to your children. I would not count on your ex-husband going away. A sociopath does use his own children and if that is his tie to you and he can keep engaging you in some way, he will. I’m sorry it’s so discouraging. I believe the more we support each other and educate ourselves, the more we will be able to advocate for ourselves and our children and maybe even others. The court and all involved in the legal system need to become better educated. Good luck to you and feel free to come back for support. Jen

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